DON'T SHOOT ON CHILDREN - VHS REVIEW

DON’T SHOOT ON CHILDREN (1978) is yet another crimeslime obscurity that turned up in English thanks (!) to the once-indispensable wonders of Greek videocassette.

As the opening credits unfold, various newspaper headlines flash across the screen, which detail the exploits of children throughout Italy, but this rather arresting credit sequence rapidly goes nowhere, and its relation to the rest of the film is only tenuous at best.  Instead, the film focuses its attention on Dino (Giancarlo Prete), who works at a ceramics factory trying to support his family, which includes his ailing father (Giampiero Albertini) – who has cancer after years of working in the mines – and his delinquent brother Marco (Marco Gelardini).  When Dino is laid-off from work, his father’s condition takes a turn for the worse and he is admitted to a hospital, but at the same time, he is also reacquainted with Beaumont (Italo Gasperini), an old friend who forces him to re-think the straight-and-narrow with a quick-scheme robbery. Meanwhile, in a not-so-interesting subplot, Marco and his buddies merely loiter in the streets getting up to no good – either smokin’ dope or buzzing aimlessly through the streets on their motorcycles – which only frustrates both his brother and father.  As expected, Beaumont’s plan begins to fall apart, and in a last-ditch effort, they take a group school kids and their (Antonella Lualdi) hostage.

Like his fellow compadre Demofilo Fidani (a.k.a. Miles Deem), director Gianni Crea directed several low-budget westerns, and like Fidani, Crea was somewhat out of his element when helming non-western fare.  DON’T SHOOT AT CHILDREN is his only crime film and, like his many lowly westerns, it’s also a decidedly threadbare production. Upon closer inspection, this rather poorly-paced effort has more in common with the overly melodramatic sceneggiata or cinema napoletana than your typical urban crime picture; Dino losing his job with his father in the hospital, and forced moralistic coda about one’s choices in life are typical plot points of any sceneggiata.

Future action star Giancarlo Prete (sometimes billed as Timothy Brent for much of his '80s output), tries in vain to inject some pathos into his role, but ultimately the tired screenplay – also by Crea – gives him very little to do.  Frequent crimeslime character actor Giampiero Albertini is also completely wasted as he lays in a hospital bed for most of the film’s duration while the usually captivating Eleonora Giorgi is given a throwaway part as Dino’s girlfriend.  Italo Gasperini, who also ‘starred’ alongside Richard Harrison in Mario Pinzauti’s rarely-seen CLOUZOT E C. CONTRO BORSALINO E C. (1977), is suitably scummy as the primary – and very manipulative – villain Beaumont, the pronunciation of whose name sounds more like “Bimbo” (!) than Beaumont in the clumsy English dubbing. 

This decades-old VHS tape from Video Alsen was, like most Greek videocassettes, in English with Greek subtitles and fullscreen, cropping Maurizio Centini’s photography from the intended 1.85:1 aspect ratio. This was also available on Italian language videocassette from New Pentax. 

SATAN'S BLADE - BLU-RAY REVIEW

Original Prism VHS ad-line: “An unholy talisman of murder and madness.”

In 1985, during the waning days of the stalk ’n’ slash craze, SATAN’S BLADE (1984) quietly debuted on VHS videocassette courtesy of Prism Video.  It was also available via Mogul Communications and Galaxy (which appears to be one of Mogul’s subsidiary labels [?]), and that release’s rather striking cover-art – which adorns Slasher Video and Olive Film’s current DVD and Blu-ray release – was also reused on numerous other releases from Mogul, most notably Carlos Puerto’s SATAN’S BLOOD (1978).  According to director L. Scott Castillo Jr., SATAN’S BLADE was actually made in 1980 and remained in distribution limbo until 1984, where, at one point, even Warner Brothers expressed some possible interest.  Despite the allure of studio distribution, SATAN’S BLADE simply got lost among a glut of horror titles, which crowded shelves at most video stores of the time.

Static, bucolic shots of wintery locales – Northern California – are suddenly disrupted when a typical-looking hunting knife flies through the air and impales itself in a tree, and then, rather mysteriously, it begins to give off a red glow.  The film then quickly moves to the ‘Sierra Foothill Bank’, where a couple of bank robbers – all shot with low angles to obscure their identity, which makes it feel like some long-lost Doris Wishman film – not only rob the bank but viciously kill a couple of tellers working late that day.  They eventually make their way to a cabin – which we assume is in the very same woods from the opening – and wait for their contact, but in a nice twist of fate they fall prey to some mysterious madman.  A strange symbol is written in blood at the scene of the crime, which only baffles the local police (“I wonder what this means?”), but despite the gruesome double murder, it doesn’t stop the owners of this mountain getaway renting out both the cabin next door and the very same cabin where the murders took place.

Two groups of vacationers including Tony (Tom Bongiorno) and his buddy Al (Thomas Cue), who, along with their wives arrive on the same day as a group of college girls who are trying to ‘cheer up’ their friend Sue (Ramona Andrada), whose father recently passed away.  Despite warnings from one of the owners about a “mountain man” who was given a weapon by “the evil spirits of the mountains”, Tony shrugs it off as mere ballyhoo.  Slowing down considerably, the film aborts the rather energetic opening and focuses on ‘character development’ as Tony and Al neglect their wives, get drunk and play practical jokes on the girls next door (“Those ski instructors are just a warm-up for the main event!”), but then, out of the blue, a seriously creepy dream sequence enlivens the proceedings.  Thankfully, at this point, SATAN’S BLADE begins to pick up the pace as our weekend vacationers try to elude this “monster of death”.

Certainly not lacking in originality, this rather lowly effort remains oddly compelling despite the very amateurish performances, and while the supernatural angle is a most-welcome touch, the rather inconsistent pace will undoubtedly test many viewer’s patience, even though the film has all the requisite cut-rate gore and topless nudity, which epitomizes most Slasher films of the time.  The wintery locales always provide an aura of stillness and eerie menace, which the filmmakers capture quite well; while Martin Jaquish – who also edited the film – scores the film with a simplistic, but highly effective synth score, which amps up the chilly atmosphere considerably.

After a long wait, Slasher Video delivers SATAN’S BLADE on Blu-Ray – it’s also available on DVD – in what is undoubtedly the best the film has ever looked.  Mastered in 2K, the film is presented in an open-matte 1.35:1 transfer, which definitely displays a little too much ‘headroom’ in many scenes, but, if you so desire, zoom into the picture and it actually works quite well compositionally; although some brief nudity is cut off the frame during an obligatory shower scene.  As for the extras, the disc also includes ‘Director’s Narrative’, an interview with the director, which helps shed some light on the production and ‘Remembering Satan’s Blade’, a rather poorly shot interview with the director showing off some props, the original 35mm film cans, a couple of VHS releases and a poster.  Other extras include the trailer (which is the original Prism video trailer), extensive still and artwork galleries and a couple of deleted/extended scenes from both the Japanese and Dutch videotapes.  Unfortunately, the fan produced SATAN’S BLADE 2 trailer is not included, despite what the packaging proclaims.

Not for everyone, Slasher Video has nonetheless pulled out all the stops for this once forgotten (some viewers may think it probably should have stayed that way) film, which, in this new re-mastered edition, makes it infinitely more digestible than viewing it through some muddy old VHS tape.  Order SATAN'S BLADE at DiabolikDVD.  

THE CUT-THROATS - DVD REVIEW

Although masquerading as a WWII picture, it becomes apparent rather quickly that John Hayes’ The CUT-THROATS (1970) has more in common with Lee Frost’s influential sexploitation effort, LOVE CAMP 7 (1968) than your typical action flick.  Opening with “The Ballad of Jimmy Johnson”, a rather lowly but sombre tune – accompanied by some crude artwork of a soldier harnessing a lasso – this uncharacteristic film follows a group of soldiers at the tail-end of WWII, led by the rather inscrutable Captain Kohler (E.J. Walsh?), who are assigned to infiltrate a German stronghold (which actually turns out to be a brothel) and steal some “detailed charts and battle plans”.  As in Robert Aldrich’s The DIRTY DOZEN (1965), Kohler’s men – it’s actually only a half-dozen this time around – get the job done without a hitch, but Captain Kohler’s true intentions are soon revealed: namely a million dollars’ worth of Nazi plunder.  As he tries to figure out how to get the riches out of the camp, he and his men decide to “enjoy a little entertainment”, but Sergeant Tackney (Jay Scott) begins to fall for one of the “beautiful Nazi women” (Inge Pinson).

Revisiting the setting of his earlier WWII picture, SHELL SHOCK (1964) – itself likely influenced by Anthony Mann’s riveting MEN IN WAR (1957) – Hayes uses the military scenario as mere backdrop to a film whose primary motivation is to show as much female nudity as possible; and on that level, the film succeeds admirably. Five minutes into the film, a lone German soldier (an uncredited Michael Pataki – future star of Hayes’ most well-known film, GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE [1972]), encounters a young woman, whom he proceeds to rape in a prolonged and uncomfortable scene; it’s certainly a downbeat opening, and, like Meir Zarchi’s much later I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1978), is made all the more effective by the complete lack of music.  Thankfully, once at the brothel, while the men smoke cigars and sip cognac, the film becomes more playful in its attitude as the women perform an amateurish stage show, and then get the soldiers into bed.  In a particularly bizarre scene, one of the women’s bedrooms is virtually plastered with Nazi paraphernalia, including Swastika-adorned bed-sheets; set dressings which are so over-the-top as to be almost appear comical, despite all the negative connotations of the hated symbols involved.  Meanwhile, in another part of the country at German headquarters, soldiers are celebrating the recent declaration that the war is over; which results in an impromptu striptease by a female soldier (played by the decidedly top-heavy Uschi Digard) as John Hayes and his DP Paul Hipp zero-in on Uschi’s biggest assets.  Back at the brothel, further softcore sex takes up more of the film’s narrative, but, eventually, the women try and defend themselves, and this results in the expected “bloodbath”, with a few twists and turns along the way.

Our dirty half-dozen enjoying a little entertainment.

As a war picture, The CUT-THROATS isn’t very convincing or memorable.  Filmed in the hilly, desert-like outskirts of Los Angeles at some abandoned ranch, which is a poor stand-in for the German or European countryside – although forgivable, considering the film’s obviously low-budget – the few-and-far-between action scenes are actually rather effective despite their somewhat sparse execution.  Although not fully-developed, but far more interesting, are the characters’ desperate attempts at having themselves some sort of life following all the hardships and horrors of the war, no matter what the cost; whether it’s plundering some forbidden Nazi jewels or finding solace in a another’s woman’s arms, these men and women have been changed by the conflict, some for the better, some for the worse.  During the opening “Ballad of Jimmy Johnson” (“…our laughter brings back the joys of past days.”), Jimmy is killed in the opening few minutes, which provides the necessary incentive for Sergeant Tackney to escape this hell (“I kill because of orders!”).  Not looking too deeply into many of the character’s motivations – this is, after all, a cheap sexploitation flick – it would seem director Hayes had some intention to explore this facet with a little insight not afforded to him; he was probably obligated to provide the film with as much titillation as possible, sometimes at the cost of an entirely different fleshed-out narrative.

Inge Pinson and Jay Scott.

Like many directors who worked in the prolific world of low-budget filmmaking in the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s, John Hayes (1931-2000) never received the recognition he probably deserved, and not much was really written about him until the publication of Stephen Thrower’s indispensable book Nightmare USA (FAB Press, 2007).  As mentioned earlier, he is probably best remembered for GRAVE OF THE VAMPIRE and its companion piece GARDEN OF THE DEAD (1972), a horror quickie produced as a second feature for said film, which only runs about an hour in length.  Later, before he embarked on END OF THE WORLD (1977), a mostly execrable horror/sci-fi pic with a noteworthy cast including Christopher Lee, he wrote and directed (under his Harold Perkins pseudonym) BABY ROSEMARY (1977 – also available from Vinegar Syndrome), which, despite being a hardcore porn film with horror overtones, is far more thought-provoking and challenging than most of his work.  As he continued to toil in the porno ghetto during the ’80s, he also directed an episode of the George A. Romero and Richard Rubenstein syndicated TV series Tales from the Darkside (1983-1988).

Produced as a Limited Edition DVD with a print run of 1,500 copies, Vinegar Syndrome’s print of The CUT-THROATS was “scanned and restored in 2K from 35mm vault materials”, and given that this is the film’s DVD debut, it has never looked better.  Extras are sparse, with just a brief stills gallery – consisting of original B&W stills courtesy of Bruce Holecheck from Cinema Arcana – and the original theatrical trailer (“They met their match when they met the women of the Third Reich!”).  This DVD will be available for free if you purchase Vinegar Syndrome’s May 2015 package (available on May 12^th) or June 2015 package.  If any stock remains, they will sell them via DiabolikDVD in a couple of months for $12.00.  Like all the Vinegar Syndrome Limited Editions, grab a copy before it disappears for good.    

SPINE - DVD REVIEW

One of the many, regionally-produced SOV (shot-on-video) efforts from the heyday of the home video boom in the ’80s, this once-forgotten ‘film’ began to garner some notoriety among VHS collectors when said tape – housed in one those big oversized boxes with typically garish cover art – started commanding exorbitant prices online.  Well, thanks to Massacre Video, anyone who wishes to revisit this film can now do so without breaking the bank.

Like most of these SOV efforts, the plot is rudimentary, which this time revolves around Lawrence Ashton (R. Eric Huxley), a sadistic killer in mirrored sunglasses who has been cutting up nurses in the L.A. area, removing their spines, and sometimes leaving the name Linda written in blood, hence the film’s original vidbox tagline, “He’s looking for Linda…and that could be anybody!”  Obviously, this leaves the police baffled, and during a debriefing between the detectives (including lead detective Leo Meadows [Antoine Herzog], whose baseball cap continually changes from scene to scene, in some sort of obvious in-joke) and their police captain, all they can deduce is that “he’s obviously pissed off at someone named Linda!”  Lawrence continues his murder spree – sometimes right under the noses of our “shrewd” lawmen – and then enters the home of two nurses, Carrie (Janus Blythe) and Leah (Lise Romanoff), and holds them captive for the remainder of the film, where, to our benefit, he explains everything.

Contrary to the rather lurid subject matter, SPINE is actually devoid of any nudity (save for some partial, fleeting breasts) and decides to play it relatively “safe”.  As revealed in an interview (contained as an extra on this disc) with co-director Justin Simonds, he and his co-director John Howard were persuaded by the cast to refrain from nudity, which, in hindsight, he actually regrets.  Just the same, an aura of sleaziness still permeates the entire film, which is most likely mainly attributable to the look of the shoddy lo-res ¾-inch videotape on which it was shot; and, to a larger degree, the numerous scenes of bondage (always involving knots and ropes), which the killer subjects his victims to before “removing their spine”.  In an interesting side-note, Simonds also reveals that before embarking on this project, he and Howard were shooting “specialty” videos with the thinnest of plots, whose main impetus usually revolved around “women being tied-up”, and like those earlier projects, SPINE simply expands on those with a ‘fleshed-out’ plot.  The film’s modus operandi is still the same (both Blythe and Romanoff spend a good portion of the film tied-up), but this time, lots of stage blood is splashed around as the killer does away with his victims.  Although, similarities to the real life Richard Speck murders - on July 13^th, 1966, Speck held a number of nurses captive at their dormitory and methodically raped and killed them - are uncanny, co-director Simonds swears he and Howard were never influenced by this heinous event, but Howard was inspired, to a degree, by Brian De Palma’s DRESSED TO KILL (1980).   

Lawrence Ashton (R. Eric Huxley) removin' a spine.

Much of the narrative is also devoted to scenes of police procedurals (“17 stab wounds in the chest…27 in the back”) with the lead detectives, who can’t ever “get a handle on this thing”.  But, in a hilariously naïve moment, detective Meadows uses a “state of the art” computer system that can “correlate different factors” like “nurse”, “strangle”, “knife”, and “Linda” to help find anyone associated with these murders; but it isn’t until he types “spine” into this ‘super-computer’, that our murderer is revealed (“Alright!  We’ve got ’em now!”).  Why he never did this in the first place is anyone’s guess, but hey, this is a silly movie, after all.

The biggest surprise of this film is the presence of actress Janus Blythe, who, before this film, appeared in a number of horror and exploitation films, including Stu Segall’s C.B. HUSTLERS (1976) and DRIVE-IN MASSACRE (1977), Tobe Hooper’s EATEN ALIVE (1977), William Sach’s The INCREDIBLE METLING MAN (1977), and, most famously, in Wes Craven’s The HILLS HAVE EYES (1977) and its sequel The HILL HAVE EYES PART 2 (1984).  Aside from the other two leads (Huxley and Romanoff), Janus Blythe is the only one who displays any modicum of acting talent, while the rest of the cast is only amateurish at best; the scenes with the cops are especially awful!

Certainly not for all tastes, the fine folks at Massacre Video have nonetheless rolled out the red-carpet treatment for yet another forgotten SOV production.  Originally released by 4-Play Video, a company that also apparently distributed porn films, even back when it was first released, copies of SPINE were difficult to locate, so it’s nice to finally have this obscurity readily available once again.  Like most of these “spur-of-the-moment” productions, the backstory is always much more interesting than the actual productions themselves, and Massacre Video managed to locate both co-director Justin Simonds and actor R. Eric Huxley, who are rather perplexed that fans of the film actually exist.  In a pair of on-screen interviews as well as an audio commentary, they are amiable about SPINE just the same, and provide plenty of info about its genesis and the pitfalls of low-budget filmmaking.  A stills gallery and a couple of trailers for other Massacre Video titles round out the extras, and as per their usual high standards, they have also provided reversible cover-art, which replicates the original – and unique – big box cover art.  Order SPINE here.